[IC Post]

[write_it_in]

[there's a novelist with a small duffel and what appears to be a bag of beer and snacks, heading for the chapel.]

[he's in for an unpleasant surprise.]

Comments

[godsavethequeenie]

So you're doing it for his benefit then? To try and make him more independent?

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

If he can't perform tonight, yes. If telling him I'd leave gets his spark back, then... maybe I'm enough as I am. But he can't rely on me being there for everything.

[godsavethequeenie]

I'm....not the sort of person who can let myself rely on others for anything, my pride won't allow it. I guess that's to say, I'm the polar opposite of Shuichi.

Do you plan on getting back together with him eventually?

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

You're better off, I think.

[slow nod]

[godsavethequeenie]

And what if this all just ends up hurting Shuichi and not helping him? Or what if he doesn't take you back?

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

I'm worried about both.

[godsavethequeenie]

Obviously you think its more likely to help him though or you wouldn't have done it.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

[more nodding, and reaching for a second beer]

[godsavethequeenie]

Well, I'm not such an optimist that I'd say 'there's no damage that can't be undone', but you're not a total idiot, so it can't get too bad.

Shuichi....he just feels too much is the problem. He really does love singing, but he's not a true professional. And it's not because he doesn't take his singing seriously. It's just that when he feels something or something happens to him, he feels it so completely that there's no way to push it aside. Ie leaks into everything else he's doing.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

...I know he does. But there was a spark before, that isn't there now. And I can't push him to get it back like he wants me to. He needs to do it himself. He's still acting like he's in high school.

[godsavethequeenie]

I don't know if this is the way to go about it, but I do agree it's something he needs to do himself. But some people need support.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to leave him alone. I'll still help.

[godsavethequeenie]

As a friend then? Just not as his boyfriend.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

I don't know what it'll be.

[godsavethequeenie]

I think you'd do best to figure that out first.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

[sighs] You're right. I'll come up with something.

[godsavethequeenie]

*second can is a go!* Just don't cut away from him completely. That would be a big mistake.

[godsavethequeenie]

Then again, I'm not really one to talk here.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

Why would it be a mistake?

[godsavethequeenie]

Because then you'd just both be hurting.

[godsavethequeenie]

You'd both just be wondering about how the other was the whole time.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

That makes sense.

[godsavethequeenie]

There's no point pulling away if all you two are going to do is just constantly think of the other. It defeats the purpose and it's making it worse even. So, break up with him if you think that's what's best, but stick around so that he doesn't have to wonder.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

...thanks, Nana.

[godsavethequeenie]

Hey, no prob. I owed you for the beer, so we'll just call it even.