[IC Post]

[write_it_in]

[there's a novelist with a small duffel and what appears to be a bag of beer and snacks, heading for the chapel.]

[he's in for an unpleasant surprise.]

Comments

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

I can't be trusted.

[godsavethequeenie]

Trusted with what? What are you getting at?

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

[i suck at flirting when i'm upset]

Eh, nevermind. I'm off my game.

[godsavethequeenie]

To be honest, I knew you were getting at, but I was seriously hoping you didn't think trying to hide how upset you were by flirting was going to work.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

...

Had to try.

[godsavethequeenie]

Doesn't work, trust me. I'm not going to pry, because I hate it when people do that to me, but if you want to talk, I'll listen.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

[considers]

I decided tonight to break up with my boyfriend. I wanted to talk to my brother.

[godsavethequeenie]

Shuichi?

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

[nod]

[godsavethequeenie]

I'm not Tatsuha, but I know you and I know Shuichi, so I can understand well enough, if you're fine talking to me instead.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

[shrug] He's too dependent on me. On everyone, really, but mostly me.

[godsavethequeenie]

So you're doing it for his benefit then? To try and make him more independent?

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

If he can't perform tonight, yes. If telling him I'd leave gets his spark back, then... maybe I'm enough as I am. But he can't rely on me being there for everything.

[godsavethequeenie]

I'm....not the sort of person who can let myself rely on others for anything, my pride won't allow it. I guess that's to say, I'm the polar opposite of Shuichi.

Do you plan on getting back together with him eventually?

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

You're better off, I think.

[slow nod]

[godsavethequeenie]

And what if this all just ends up hurting Shuichi and not helping him? Or what if he doesn't take you back?

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

I'm worried about both.

[godsavethequeenie]

Obviously you think its more likely to help him though or you wouldn't have done it.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

[more nodding, and reaching for a second beer]

[godsavethequeenie]

Well, I'm not such an optimist that I'd say 'there's no damage that can't be undone', but you're not a total idiot, so it can't get too bad.

Shuichi....he just feels too much is the problem. He really does love singing, but he's not a true professional. And it's not because he doesn't take his singing seriously. It's just that when he feels something or something happens to him, he feels it so completely that there's no way to push it aside. Ie leaks into everything else he's doing.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

...I know he does. But there was a spark before, that isn't there now. And I can't push him to get it back like he wants me to. He needs to do it himself. He's still acting like he's in high school.

[godsavethequeenie]

I don't know if this is the way to go about it, but I do agree it's something he needs to do himself. But some people need support.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to leave him alone. I'll still help.

[godsavethequeenie]

As a friend then? Just not as his boyfriend.

[write-it-in.livejournal.com]

I don't know what it'll be.